That's My Beef

Today I had lunch at a local hot-spot in the Catalina foothills.  I ordered chopped salad with blackened chicken. The ingredients were marvelous: sliced avocado, fruit, pumpkin seeds, cheese and of course chicken.

First bite: Bitter.  Second bite: Bitter.  All of it was bitter.

It suddenly dawned on me that I’m not the only one who should have a bad reputation for cooking.  And this chef is actually getting paid to cook lousy.  Maybe it’s time for a career change. Mine!

I inspected the salad and realized the ingredients weren’t bitter …except for the charred meat.  Who on earth decided that blackened chicken was nouveau?  To me, it’s just overcooked, overdone, and over-the-top.

I admit that my very first cooking experience was using my Easy Bake Oven at the age of eight.  Now, that was one heck of an oven.  I created so many great treats and never had a disaster. Nothing was bitter and I wasn’t even a chef.  Then I grew up…well, that story was told a few blogs back.

So, I’m sitting in the restaurant wondering if I should complain.  But how could I?  The description of the salad was on the menu in black and white.  It should have read overcooked, charred like a forest fire and tough as nails…but instead it read: blackened. 

I always thought that meat was overcooked if the edges were dark.  And of course, if my father were alive, he’d be able to open a restaurant and charge beaucoup bucks for his award winning hockey-puck colored and textured hamburgers.

I take a sip of my water, contemplating when the world got so crazy that overcooked meat was now a rave.  I can imagine the first chef to burn meat.  Knowing the owner would fire him for ruining good food, he labeled it something fancy, like it was meant to be that way.  Genius!

So, with a new name or buzz word a.k.a. ~Branding~ you can salvage anything.  Old clothing becomes vintage.  Burned meat is now blackened. My disastrous cottage cheese dish sprinkled with food coloring merely needed to be re-invented with a new name: Rainbow Delight.

Remember when thongs were those inexpensive, rubbery sandals you wore to the beach?  Now, a certain undergarment has taken that name and the poor sandals have been reduced in title to: Flip Flops.

I have been trying to live down my reputation for being a lousy cook.  And then one day some numbskull burns meat and labels it:  Charred Chicken.  Are you serious?  He ruins an entree and gives it a kitsch label and Voila! it went from ruined to refined!

Apparently,the standards for good food have been redefined…and That’s My Beef!