With me, nothing is ever easy. After lunch with TFH, we both checked in at the front desk. Although I was staying in a lovely four star hotel, the Baglioni looked like a fortress with a somber interior. The bellman grabbed my luggage and accompanied me to my room. We walked down an aisle, up some stairs, down another corridor which snaked around and then down more stairs and more stairs and even more stairs to another hallway into what seemed like the bowels of the earth. I knew I’d need a GPS to find my way back to the front of the hotel. The dark brown and black décor was austere and intimidating with dark, heavy wood beams. I felt like I was in a 13th century monastery. But it was a true four star hotel and I tried to overlook the dark, dreary décor.
Carrying my luggage, he grunted every few feet until we arrived at my room. I inserted the credit-card like key in the door and opened it. The room was pitch black and I couldn’t see where the light switch was located. I ran my hands along the wall and there was nothing except what felt like a cool, metal box. Who can't find a light switch? Talk about embarrassing and humbling.
Still feeling like an idiot, I hear him from behind, "Signorina, signorina…I will help you turn on the light.”
Still feeling like an idiot, I hear him from behind, "Signorina, signorina…I will help you turn on the light.”
Help me turn on the light? He must think I’m a really stupid American.
He took the card from my hand and slipped it into the metal rectangular holder on the wall. Suddenly dim light from above cascaded over me.
"So, this is the light switch?"
“You must keep the key in the metal case if you want light.”
He placed my suitcase on a luggage rack and walked over to the dark brown shutters and opened them. The room went from mid-evil to lovely with bright sunlight streaming in. And what a view!
“If you leave the shutters open, it will automatically shut off the air conditioning.” He closed the shutters, the air came back on and the room was dreary except for the above lighting. So much for the view.
"So, I have to remain in the dark?”
“It’s not dark. You have overhead lights.”
And with that, he left.
I went into the bathroom to freshen up, but even a rocket scientist wouldn’t be able to figure out how to simply turn on the faucet in the shower and sink. Thirty minutes into my fiasco and too stubborn and embarrassed to call the front desk for help, I turned the knobs every which way, improvising as I went along. Eureka! Water poured out of the sink. After this great accomplishment, I was ready to take on the shower which only had a two foot glass enclosure on the side of the tub. Eventually I figured out how to turn on the bloody faucet and the entire bathroom was submerged and flooded. This went on every morning.
No shower curtains? Like a little piece of glass is going to contain a few gallons of spritzing water?
Oh well! The things to overcome when traveling. Truth be told, I’d rather suffer a few minor inconveniences than stay home. But, they never cease to amaze me. Now that I’ve mastered non-existing light switches and insanely difficult water faucets, maybe it’s time to get my PHd in traveling 101B.
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