My mother was so happy that both sons and one of four
grand kids came to visit and celebrate her 90th that she went into
spontaneous overdrive and planned many fun activities and excursions for all of
us to enjoy.
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| Helene the Hustler! |
The first day we went to Casino del Sol and as we
walked into the casino we were met by a gregarious and charming manager who
showed us around, and treated us to
their buffet brunch. I think if he knew
the appetite of my family, he might have reconsidered and simply given us the casino
cash. That casino was going to be out of food within the hour that much I knew
for sure. The good thing was that brunch was a
buffet versus a sit-down lunch because with all the getting up and down to try
this entrée and that dessert, more times than my mother’s age, I’m sure the
family burned at least ten calories each.
My quadriceps certainly got a good work-out. So much for working out at the gym. Who knew you could lose weight at a
casino? Money, yes. But, weight?
Go figure.
Anyway, I’m not much of a gambler. The last time I gambled I was in Vegas when
they used coins in the slot machines. Now
the casinos only use paper or gift card money. So, the five of us sat down in
front of the penny machines, completely stumped as to how to begin.
Even when Rich pushed the “help” button on the slot
machine, the employee couldn’t explain how to work the darn thing, either. So, I guess you have to be a cock-eyed genius
to be gambling these days
Mind you, we are college graduates, have degrees and
I thought some level of intelligence.
But, when we couldn’t even figure out how to start the blasted machine,
I knew I should have been a Rocket Scientist instead of a teacher.
When we joined Club Sol, the casino gave each of us
a card with casino cash which had to be inserted into a slot.
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| Hustling the House! |
What they didn’t tell us was we also had to
slide a dollar into the adjoining slot to get things started. The woman next to
me gave me a mini lesson.
Okay. Mission
accomplished. But, then we couldn’t tell
how to play the game. There were four or
five lines of icons going across the machine and about seven lines long of roses,
hearts, oranges, cherries, watermelon, strawberries, jokers, clubs, alphabet
letters and no instructions. So, I began
pushing this button and then that button and the machine kept spinning and
stealing my “free” gambling money, but it made lots of noise like I was
winning.
So to aggravate my brothers, I kept screaming and
howling like I was winning:
“Oh my God!”
I can’t believe it!”
“This is fantastic!
“Man oh man! Woo-hoo! This is the greatest day EVER!”
The tears ran down my cheeks as I was racking up
enough points to win an Academy Award, but not a $10,000 Casino Prize.
They ran over to see what the commotion was. I got them good! They hadn’t figured out how
to use the machine, and here it seemed that I, the little sister that they
picked on, whose Barbie is decapitated and was the recipient of many a Noogie
and Indian burn not only figured out how to use the machine….but I WAS WINNING! Or so they thought.
I’m pretty
sure that Bobby controlled his impulsive need for giving me a Noogie after he
discovered I was merely acting. Since it was my mother’s birthday week, he
didn’t want to spoil it by making me black and blue. Next visit~ I can’t guarantee.
Finally we all moved to one of the ‘old fashioned’
slots with only one line across. I felt
like an idiot and was rewarded by not losing my shirt. The Casino won $9.98…me,
well I was left with .02 cents.
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| Heidi Goldman and The High Rollers at Casino del Sol |
After gambling and eating all day, it was time to
return home and get ready for the evening’s fun. Any idea what that could be? Besides
eating! Sheesh! Like you know my family so well.
One hint:
BOO-HISS!!!
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