Boogie in a Ball Gown! ~ The Kaiserball

I shook my head in disbelief as I sat in my cramped seat on Swiss Air, flying back to Tucson.  Did I really attend the Kaiserball in the Hofburg Palace on New Year's Eve in Vienna, Austria?

This trip took a year to plan and with a blink of an eye, the evening was over.  And, I wasn't ready for it to be over.

Having done a Google search prior to the trip, I didn't know if the description of the New Year celebration that I read on the internet was accurate or embellished to entice the reader.  This ball sounded too good to be true.  And you know what they say:  When things sound too good to be true...Exactly my thought, too.  But, I couldn't stop thinking about spending New Year's Eve in a palace rather than on my couch in sweat pants.  Would this ball be fabulous or phony?  My expectations were elevated to unrealistic levels, but still, I had to go and find out.

As I tried to make myself comfortable in my economy-class seat, I closed my eyes and relived part of the year, remembering when I first went shopping for a ball gown...

"So, here I am,” I thought, standing half naked in my dressing room in a bridal shop surrounded by QUINCEAÑERA girls and brides-to-be waiting for the sales girl to bring a gown for me to try on.

She brought me two:  a size sixteen and an eighteen.  I assured her, in my spandex workout clothes, that I was a size four in street clothes.

She scowled, having heard girls protest about their size for decades and said in a condescending voice, "There's no shame in being larger.  Most brides fudge because of vanity and the pregnancy factor."

I protested, making a mental note to stay on the treadmill for an extra hour after I finished shopping.  "Actually I’m a size four and besides, I'm not a bride!"

That caught her attention.

"Then what are you doing here?" she inquired.  "Obviously you're too old to be celebrating your QUINCEAÑERA."

As she helped me into the over-sized dress, I explained, "I was invited to a ball in the Hofburg Palace in Vienna on New Year's Eve and I need a gorgeous ball gown for the occasion."

Her mouth dropped and so did the dress.  She watched it slide off my hips to the floor and retrieved another.

The salesgirl returned with a size two, white beaded Cinderella gown which sparkled in the overhead lighting.  As she dressed me, she said under her breath, "How does one get to go to a ball?"

Heidi Goldman

"The Imperial Ball, also known as The Kaiserball, is the first of four hundred balls that set off Vienna's season, beginning on New Year's Eve.   All one needs is a ticket, formal attire, and a crash course in ballroom dance lessons," I explained.

"Then you'll need fancy shoes, too," she added, getting into the spirit.

The salesgirl returned with strappy shoes, stilettos with rhinestones, and dressy satin pumps for me to try on, but I had other ideas.  I knew I would be dancing all night on marble floors in a palace which is over one million square feet containing more than two thousand rooms.  My feet would kill me by the time I made my way from the front door to my dinner table, this much I knew.  The ball was eight hours long and there was no way I would be able to waltz the night away in a ball gown without being crippled.  Such a dilemma for a girlie-girl.

I knew as difficult as it was to find the perfect gown, it would be harder to find the perfect shoe.  Or should I say, a comfortable shoe.  And then it hit me.

The only shoe that really feels good all day and night is a sneaker.  But, how could I attend a ball in a Cinderella gown and a pair of Keds with anklets?

What a ludicrous idea.  Or was it?

When I told my entourage of eavesdropping customers and my salesgirl that I planned on wearing jazz sneakers, they rolled their eyes.

But I had the last laugh.

While all the European women rubbed their tired, blistered feet, I danced all night.  My ball gown covered my inappropriate sneaker-clad feet and when I lifted my dress slightly, showing the ladies in Vienna my little secret, they giggled and I made friends for life.

This gown was my obsession for almost a year.  Since I found the perfect gown, how would I get it to Vienna?   UPS estimated five hundred dollars to ship.  So, that was out of the question.  I really had no choice but to wrap the gown in a sheet, stuff it in my suitcase and with a prayer, hope it would arrive with the rest of my luggage.

I spent months looking for palace appropriate jewelry, opera length gloves, a velvet cape, and continued to worry how we, my dress and I and of course my date, would fit in a limo since my dress expanded six feet in diameter.  And how on earth would I use the ladies’ room wearing a dress the size of a continent?

My date, typical guy, decided that the gown had taken on the qualities of a Diva and was becoming high maintenance.  She weighed twenty-five pounds and stood up without assistance; she had her own suitcase, required her own closet space in the European hotel and had her own accessories.

He named her: ~Sophia~

Heidi Goldman New Year's at the Kaiserball
Hofburg Palace ~ Vienna, Austria

The Captain's voice came over the loud speaker, stopping my memories from flooding into the first-class compartment of the plane.

I went from being a princess in a palace, to Poof!-sitting economy-class on an overstuffed jet, still pinching myself to see if I was awake or merely hallucinating.  One minute I felt like a cross between Cinderella, minus the wicked step-sisters, and a Princess without a Palace.  And, now I was just an ordinary Joe, squished and squeezed into submission in my little seat in coach.  Imagine how Sophia must have felt in my little suitcase.

If it weren't for the photographs and videos I took, I would never believe that I actually boogied in a ball gown until three in the morning in the Hofburg Palace, New Year's Eve at the Kaiserball in Vienna, Austria.
It was a night I'll never forget.  I felt like a princess and dressed like one...rhinestones, sneakers and all.

How's that for a reality check?

Heidi Goldman attending the Kaiserball  New Year's Eve at The Hofburg Palace Vienna, Austria

Heidi Goldman ~ New Year's Eve at the Kaiserball  in the Hofburg Palace, Vienna, Austria
Happy New Year!